health post again. please, feel free to click that little "x" button and the top of your screen now...i understand if this is boring the life out of some of you...but i feel like it wouldn't be fair for me not to share what i have learned over these past few months of feeling like i'd rather die than live...
there is always something to learn from every hard trial. that is what the kinesiologist told me when i went to see her tuesday night; after feeling like i was out of hope and at the end of the road with battling my disease. that got me thinking. there was this lady sitting in the room, me, a complete stranger to her...and she is sharing her life with me. divorced, single, living in a condo in salt lake, husband cheated on her, beat cancer naturally, just broke her leg and had surgery on it...but she told me, the lord is wanting you to learn from every trial you are given; don't think why me, think: what do i need to learn from this? chills attacked my arms and legs and i realized i have lost perspective. this hardship is just a phase. this life is only a learning experience. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. this lady has every reason to be down and mad at the world, yet all she does from a day to day basis is help and heal for hardly anything in return except knowing that she is making a difference in peoples lives.
long story short...i rant and rave to my blog, to my sister, to my mom, to my husband and anyone who will listen that i have crohns and it makes social events and eating hard...i get sick at work. i get sick in the night. i get sick watching TV. i get sick eating crackers...nah nah nah nah nah. but i used to be so positive about it, and i seemed to have less problems. my new belief: when you focus on being sick, you're gonna feel it a lot more.
what about having crohns has been good for for me: it has made me realize how dedicated and loving the man is that i married. when i was in remission, i did what i wanted. went where i wanted. got what i wanted. all when i wanted. but getting sick only weeks after we got married, i felt like i could only do half of what i normally did. in the last four months, my husband has done dishes, cleaned up our room, done laundry, picked up dinner (i dont know how it would turn out if he tried to cook...so picking up works) gotten me things while i sat in bed barely able to move and held me tight as i sobbed. if i would have stayed forever healthy with nothing hard crossing my path, how would i have known to the EXTENT that i do now, what a wonderful person i married. i couldnt be grateful for him like i am today, and though ive always loved him with all my heart, i know i love him more because of this trial.
doctors are great people. smarter than i'll ever hope to be, and went through more school than i ever hope to suffer, er, go through. i don't condone the work they do by any stretch of the imagination! they have kept me alive this long... however...without this recent upset of my crohns, i never would have felt so low or so discouraged to go see a kinesiologist...(joked to be called a witch doctor) therefore, i never would have been able to talk with her and change my perspective on why i need to be sick, what i need to learn. she's a very elect lady and i look forward to working with her for many years (or as long as it takes). she gave me what she calls a "program" i am on day two and happy to announce that i am feeling better than i have in weeks! not at a full recovery..but that was not expected. i urge you, if you're having health issues, go see a witch doctor, natural healer, alternate healthcare professional etc. have a little faith that people can still be in touch with aura's and energies. it wasnt what i am used to...but then again, a colonoscopy is WEIRD too...and a lot more expensive.
health health health. its really the most important thing we have in this life. family, friends, money, food, houses, jobs and physical possessions arent anything if we dont live long enough or well enough to enjoy what we have been blessed with.
now that i feel like i should be ending a church talk, i am going to plead with you to change your life. change your habits. be healthy, positive, loving, caring, compassionate, an example...and live the best life you can!
<3 KBS
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