Yesterday we were sick. Not a sniffle here, sniffle there kinda sick...but SICK! In bed all day kinda sick. Mike slept until 11:15 and I fell asleep two different times throughout the day and there was no stopping us. It was dead around here. So when it came to bed time, I knew I was going to struggle from basically not moving all day today. Mike has a Super power of being able to fall asleep on demand...so 12 hours later from when he woke up, he was out. I Moved from the couch, to the bed to the
Couch, to the floor to the bed And still found no sleep. It felt weird being on the couch even, though it was more comfortable, because I knew mike was in our room alone. So my last stop was tossing and turning in there.
Now... Background info! I'm a crazy sleeper! Crazy being the understatement of the century. ESPECIALLY when I'm not tired. So, we have two separate beds. Not like 1950s separate where there's three feet of floor space and a dresser in between it, but our two twins are just pushed up next to each other and I'm a spoiled brat and sleep about six inches higher than mike because I insist on having my memory foam mattress topper on the bed.
Sooooo making a short story into a novel, this bed arrangement was nothing short of inconvenient for me last night. Amongst the tossing and turning and rolling and kicking and adjusting, (I hate when my clothes get twisted) apparently all I needed was to be on the same bed as Mike. I slowly slid down to his level, climbed under his blanket, wrapped my arms around him from behind and within a matter of minutes, I was asleep.
This made me think after I woke up... What kind of wuss has marriage turned me into?! I used to relish in the idea that I needed no one. Was brave enough to sleep by myself in an empty apartment in cedar city. I was good enough to scale the kitchen cupboard when I needed something instead of lazily saying "mike, I need you to reach that." I was fearless driving my beater car because I knew I was the only one who would have to suffer the consequences...now every little squeak, crooked alignment and bald tire is brought up....because I know I'll be taken care of. I used to pride myself on carrying heavy groceries...cause I didn't need help. Now help is just a "please come help me with groceries" text away.
Yes, I have turned into a wimp. Normally I would be upset about such a decline in womanly status but the more I got thinking, the less upset I could feel. I can't look at it as a personality fault, or a lack in strength. For I feel like all we did was accomplish something big. Many couples go through day to day life never being reliant, making choices together or even communicating here and there. And the past day has shown me how reliant I am on that kind of communication and interaction now. There can't be anything wrong with sharing my load now...I've grown by taking on some of his. And I'm so happy to have done so. We've achieved balance in our many months of marriage by learning a sort of dependence on each other. And I am grateful for that; wimp title and all that comes with it. and by posting this, I hope many of you can feel better about being wimpy too. I mean, what good are they if we can't depend on them. Dependency is like glue to a marriage. :) be proud of it!
Here's to the rest of my wimpy, dependent, life. :)