so i was just sitting there thinking the other day, marriage hasn't been what i expected. i expected less patients, more fights, less help, more time away...but its not going without saying that it hasnt had its hard times...no sirree! however, we've taken our whole relationship slower than most (in UT county anyway) and i think that made all the difference. we got to know one another before we jumped on the utah county bandwagon and tied the knot. in the last three and a half months, however, i have learned more and more. and though some of it has been frustrating, i feel together we conquer a lot of it well...i am here to share my many *days* of knowledge with you.
1. first and foremost, i did NOT grow up with brothers. as far as brotherly things consisted of, my sisters played sega a few times a week. one thing i have learned since marriage is although we as girls don't pull out our dolls and barbies and dress ups like we used to, video games seem to follow the fellas throughout the ages. i was not okay with that....however, seeing as it caused our one and only big fight since we'd been ENGAGED, i decided it wasnt worth the battle. so, he gets his video games, i get my pinterest. its a lot easier to get over the fact that he wants to spend time shooting virtual hoops or killing people in a mock WWIII setting than with you, if you have interests of your own that dont involve him. advice, get a hobby...one that'll last a lifetime.
2. twilight is a fantasy...no one will EVER be able to read your mind. this is why people say communication is key. i can sit and pout around the kitchen for HOURS wanting him to do the dishes or help me cook, but being the male species he is, he's gonna think i'm just liking the idea of spending time in my kitchen...not noticing my sour face. until i actually open up and say: "hey mike, would you mind doing the dishes while im cooking?" hes gonna find the sourpuss face hilarious. advice: use your words kids, no one can understand you while you're whining...
3. i married a hunter. and until you have married one of your own, you'll NEVER understand what this means. the idea of him being GONE for a week in october had me MORTIFIED...i did not want to spend that time by myself....but, being the wanna be independent strong person i try to be, i didnt want him to know id be scared sleeping alone. so, once i finished my shift, i drove my little hynie up to his cabin and slept with him there( no monsters got me though the two nights i was alone). much to my surprise, he was happy to see me. i think girls are so insecure sometimes we're afraid to ask: Can i come? we're afraid of rejection, afraid of being shut down....but ladies, you're married. make yourself mobile to go with him if you hate that he's gone. if he acts bugged, you married a poop, but i think it'll surprise you that hes actually happy when you're around. he popped the question because he wanted that constant companionship, my guess is, he wants you there more than you think.
4. football is on three nights a week, minimum. not only did i have no brothers, i pretty much grew up without a dad. and when i had a step dad, he traveled a lot so he wasnt always around....who knew football was on SOOOO much. not me. ive been told over and over,"pick a team, enjoy it with him...football can be fun" um, denial. not EVERYONE is going to love football...simple as that. he doesnt like shopping, i don't like football..we dont always have to see eye to eye. this is where having "couple friends" comes in handy. advice? boys, have fun with that game, girls, go out!!
5. you marry the family too! which in my case, has been GREAT! i love my inlaws. i'll just head over there by myself sometimes when i'm bored just cause his family is so amazing. however, i've had friends, family and co-workers who don't share my blessing. not having experienced it, i cant tell you how horrible it is. however, this is my advice. you grew up 18+ years in one family doing something one way with the same people. now, quite literally over night you have a whole new set of parents, siblings, cousins etc. who live different lives, have different traditions, and maybe even different beliefs. BUT, i GUARANTEE there have also been other things in your life that you would have not come to love if you didnt just give it an honest chance. example: i grew up thinking i HATED fishing. the smell, the texture, the patience...ick. but, being friendless in a small town, a co-worker took me fishing one day. reeling in that first fish was SOOO exciting...even GUTTING it was cool. it developed one of the best friendships ive ever had and eventually led to being what i chose to do on my first date with my husband. :) if i never gave it an HONEST chance, i maybe never would have known i loved it...same with icky in laws...thats just my two sense.
i am sure i will continue to learn, make mistakes, fight, and be human. but that is not cause for a marriage to fail. two people, wanting to make it work, can do miraculous things no matter what cards they are dealt. i wish you all the best married lives possible. be willing to bend. be willing to break. habits are only skin deep, you better make your relationship your whole being. :) here's to love!